Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
> its yearly neologism contest in which readers are asked to supply
> alternate
> meanings for common words.
>
>
> The winners are:
> 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
>
> 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
>
> 3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
> 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
>
> 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
> answer the door in your nightgown.
>
> 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
>
> 8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
> over by a steamroller.
>
> 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
>
> 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
>
> 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
> proctologists.
>
> 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
>
> 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
> Yiddishisms.
>
> 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,
> when
> you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
> 16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
> Jewish
> men.
>